Boss Bonus Self Care Shenanigans

I want just a good old good old fashion fashion mom and da mom and da p mom and da very country hey there friends and welcome to becoming a boss where we take some time each week to solve problems your problems our problems we don't even care whose problems they are but we've made it our business to solve them so today well to be honest the topic today eludes me because I just don't understand it so we're going to flip the script and we're going to help you yeah yeah see we're multifaceted yeah exactly so today with me is my own flesh and blood none other than Paige Paige do you want to say hello paig pator pator this might be challenging because I've been told that we sound alike really I've Been Told and one of the pet peeves of podcast listeners everywhere oh yeah actually I run into the same problem and also I don't know on the phone I think that's viable but this is a this is a yeti so you think that it's going to be fine because it's a Yeti yeah okay well it'll it'll know thank you Dad well Google gets us wrong too Google most certainly gets us wrong all the time so I guess it is right even AI gets us mixed up the question is will the people get us mixed up I guess we'll see I guess we'll see the people the people well anyway welcome to the show page are you ready to learn us on all things self oh wait did we do the topic yet well the thing is yeah the topic is selfcare okay that's the topic and that's the topic that eludes me and so I I feel like I'm an expert on self-care well personally you're definitely more of an expert than I am cuz I don't even I mean there's no handbook the handbook maybe there is well there I mean of course there's plenty of like you know self-help and stuff but self-care help yeah yeah self-care help self-help self so I think that the people that are Masters at taking care of themselves are very humble about it mhm because they're just taking care of themselves so they don't see it as like oh right as a gift yeah I I mean they see it as a gift to themselves and they just are more at peace usually with what's going on around them because whenever you're like taken care of in your own emotional well-being mhm then of course you're going to feel better mhm and people don't first of all they aren't able to recognize whenever that's empty well yeah let's talk about it and that's you that's totally you okay so what you're saying is you feel like this is a problem other people have they don't recognize that they're out of gas yeah okay I don't feel like I'm great at that I'm really not great at evaluating no anything that's related to that you're already like on the side of the road broken down the toe Services is already on the way by the time that you've recognized the problem you know what I mean yeah I'm really bad at we've already talked about on the Pod that I'm terrible at identifying my emotions fine or angry that's all the ones I have just two but we're working on it we're working on it and I think that this podcast will help mhm and and I think self-care will help yeah well so this is how it came up because the topics of the show are usually something I'm struggling with or somebody else that's close to me is struggling with that's how the topic gets chosen so in this case I was at our study group on Monday and my new friend Jasmine was like you need a self-care day just hearing you talk yeah see that's bad well someone warning warning warning warning well I mean and I was going through a thing and I was explaining the thing okay but and yeah you will still anyway so she said you really need a selfcare day and I really didn't know what to make of that I was like okay what does that even mean mhm when you envision one what are you thinking the spa I think of the spa only the spa that's just what I picture when I hear self-care day I think Spa but I don't like the Spa I'm not a spa fan okay so that's like two colliding yeah which is where I'm at so that's why you're here Paige okay I think I've adopted other people's view of selfcare oh because Spa is literally that's what they're selling okay well to be fair okay the listeners don't know this but once upon a time tell them everything when we do they know about your personal life I don't know some of it do they know you have a husband they do he was on the Pod last week or last do they know about my sister she's all over my Instagram so I think they probably have to know about her okay okay so Paige's sister three yeah and Paige is 20 a 177e difference these are my two daughters and I love them equally they fight about who's cuter it's but one can talk better so that's why I'm here well yes yeah she knows about self-care oh it would be really cute actually that would be a really cute one a little tiny like two-minute podcast she's like I want to go to the castle Yeah okay here's my question so I'm assuming that it's maybe a problem for other people to identify what self-care means to them and you mentioned earlier about self-care me might look one way for one person and it might look a different way for another person yes so how would a person go about identifying what's their thing what makes them happy ooh very simple so a clean house it's just when I look around and I see everything in its place it gives me just this little piece of Peace a tiny little Slice of Heaven okay they can't see your look I I'm just saying you need to think of outside the box okay well help me think outside the box because I don't have any ideas here's what I did today I tried to adhere to the advice and I was like I'll do my nails that was my that you love doing that no I actually hate it I actually hate it why do you do it so often because I like when my nails are done so this is really similar to the house cleaning thing oh no oh no yeah I actually hate it more than cleaning I hate to do my nails hate with a passion you know why because there's so many steps there are so many steps to doing your well maybe well that's cuz you do the freaking gel okay we this is not a podcast about gel versus powder we can do that episode Another Day well you're doing it the hard way I think it's well my skin skin is not good for one I have to you know what's it called when they do the chip chip chip cuticle yeah I have major I have cuticles for three people don't you chew no I can't especially during the winter my skin is wo it's even worse okay all right so the nails done I'm out because I I tried that I really did and no one likes having to pay to have their nails done so that's the whole other even if I sit I don't even want to sit for that long okay now here's one time I had fun getting my nails done Michelle was getting married and we all got her nails done together there was champagne involved and also the girls were there so it wasn't me at the salon by myself it was me and Michelle and the girls now I would say that that's a solution but that's not a solution to the wallet problem you can't force people to go get your no you can't you also can't do that so okay more outside the box okay get rid of nails get rid of cleaning think think think what brings me joy but I want you to think about what brings you Joy but I also want to give advice to people that don't know it either okay we'll give it because I'm already out of ideas well it is what makes you happy mhm but I guess some people have to think more outside the box I mean I think you're thinking of things that are not self-care what qualifies as self-care as some that um you want to give up a definition yeah I do are you getting a definition right now yeah I do okay great the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health o going to the gym okay you're thinking Health too literally do you want me to tell you what I do for selfcare I think we're going to have to go there okay so what I do for selfcare okay this is great okay cuz I love doing this okay so after a long day mhm I'll just take a really nice hot shower I'll shave my legs because I really like whenever my legs are nice silky smooth mhm whenever I get out of the shower I'll get shea butter I'll probably do a face mask I'll probably put a mask on my hair they make hair masks mhm what in the world it enriches your hair wow it's great this industry has got to be booming right now mhm okay and you know I'm very artistic mhm so after all of that and after I feel refreshed physically I have to be in my favorite clothes I have to be comfortable right now I'm in my cozy socks my cozy rainbow pants and my cozy pink Floy t-shirt rainbow t-shirt mhm mhm mhm these are the things that make me comfiest and that make me happy okay so soft com but you'll also notice that I have these earrings Care Bear why I have these earrings is because it makes me feel slightly more put together so I don't feel like I am talking in my bed right it's all about the earring balance MH balance but anyways okay after take a nice shower exfoliate blah blah blah I'll go do something that fulfills me creatively so I'll either Journal scrapbook sew paint there's a million things that's a lot of art artsy artsy things but they make me happy they do nony things that make me happy I love playing video games with my friends I like going out with my friends MH MH even inviting my friends over well according to the Googs it says each method of selfcare fits into one of these Seven Pillars so the Seven Pillars oh of self-care are mental emotional physical environmental spiritual recreational and social ah isn't that fun oh my gosh that perfectly encapsulates encapsulates encapsulates encapsulates I don't know sure in capsulate it's what I'm saying yeah I know you feel really good after a workout yeah I do I feel better I think you take it too hard sometimes mhm so maybe you could do peaceful yoga no it's boring what it's boring I don't feel like I'm getting anything done I feel like there's a version of yoga for you I've done Pilates before kickboxing I hated kickboxing you know what my worse was I took a cycling class when we lived in Texas remember that gym you were little so you would go into the little play area Fitness yeah Planet Fitness so you'd go into the little play area and I would be able to work out which was actually a great idea we should open that here in Charlotte they have that at Ikea they have a gym in Ikea no they have a play pen for kids a play at Ikea well yeah that makes sense because you can't never get out of Ikea it's like a I know I wish you took me to that as a kid cuz looked magical no Ikea is basically torture for me oh because you can no DSW you know where the doors are but when you go into Ikea you don't know how to get out there's arrows leading you out again you don't know how to get out you walk around and you're like surely it's around the corner and what's around the corner another couch another arrow it's another couch another arrow another kitchen and I just feel trapped so you just generally don't like Ikea no I I like Ikea's stuff there are things that are in Ikea that I want to buy for example there pillows amazing pillows soft cushy very very affordable but I can't be in the store it gives me anxiety deeply rooted okay because I feel trapped moving on so yeah that's the gym there was a play area for you and then I would go work out and they also offered classes right you could go and take a spin class cycling classes well they call it a spin class and I was like oh it's a bike how bad could it be right I mean and there's people in there twice my age and three times my age I'm like obviously I can do this okay I go in there and I look closely at the bikes there is no seat there is no seat so I want you to just imagine a bike without a seat and then imagine a person tells you to get on and then you're on there for about 30 minutes you're doing all these things and there's no seat yeah and I can't leave the class because my personality I mean there are people twice and three times my age who are barely breaking a sweat I can't leave I would be embarrassed so I would call that Pride yeah oh deeply rooted again just just digging it out digging it out there dig it out dig it out like sand yes so I stayed I almost passed out I made it though I made it the entire and you hated it oh I hate it every minute but I learned a lesson that day old people are better than you never take never take a spin class okay so anyway Pilates I've done that yoga I've done that spin class done that and you don't like um not big you don't like VR that much I do like VR but it it's heavy on my head so I get nervous about you know I have the game the supernatural game which is as you know it's kind of an exercise yeah and you guys paid for the membership for the whole year so it's $10 a month they lowered their price they did yeah we know they didn't yes they did it's $10 a month now and I haven't been on there for a while it's fun though it's really fun if you're spending the money then you should do it it's yeah I know you're absolutely right I should play right now let's log off oh my gosh okay okay I I just want you to think about what makes you happy because exercises don't make me happy right I don't like doing it mhm I'm not the type of person mhm I don't you do seem pretty your mood is uplifted when you go for a walk you don't go for a walk too often but when you go for a walk you feel good yeah but I have to go for a walk before I shower right cuz you don't want to smell like outside this is the whole thing yeah yeah anyway but the shower is selfcare so it should be a good thing but you don't want me to waste your water the hot water that's such a drink oh my gosh there was no one home yeah and we didn't have hot water the whole two days that you guys were gone and I was like there's no one home where's the hot water going and I was so upset really yeah I don't know what happened probably cuz it was so cold but that makes no sense why is no yeah I actually I understand I think we have an issue okay I do okay anyway we need hot water we're letting selfcare self-care self-care is hot water yeah I think you need a ritual like a type of ritual that makes you happy oo yeah and to keep that consistent in your life that's interesting and lighting a candle for some reason it just makes me happy I like the flame I like how it looks I like that it's warm and cozy and I like how it smells I am 100% aligned with this okay so I asked that we have a candle burning mom is very sensitive to candles but I guess this one's fine so I can't either but it's burning and it makes me happy and that's what matters okay and if I like sniff it anyway candles are definitely on my list small things that make you happy that's the most I can say because it's different for every single person MH there's no way for me to get in there and tell you right I know that's the hard part I just want somebody to tell me what to do well I was just reading that book I was telling you about the atomic habits book with the habits he's talking about connecting your habits and stuff like that so that makes that fits into my strategy right now good what I'm trying to do is just connect things together yeah I I agree I think you should write a list of things that drain you things that mhm fill you up yeah yeah okay like my tea for example my tea at night your tea right and I I like to have a cup of tea at night yeah so that's sleeping behind tea mhm green te two sugar I'm actually not too I'm not too picky about what type of tea it is I had orange spice last night I know you like sleep time orange spice last nightm it was delicious it was actually good oh my word I like it it reminded me of apple cider so Hony suggested this apple cider recipe the other day well it was a couple weeks ago and it was so delicious I bought apple cider from the store but then I put it in the crock pot and threw in she told me what to throw in it was like an orange a lemon cinnamon nutmeg cloves all things that I just happen to have in the house and I did what she said and it smelled delightful it it smelled the whole house hot pie it's POI oh it's thought it was po perie it's spelled like pot Perri POI it's spelled po Perri but it's pronounced po po popri I think it's uh see this is what happens when you're an only child that reads a lot yeah and you just get stuck with the letters you don't know what else to do well I was an only child drum roll drum roll so that was delicious and it smelled great it tasted great was delicious well that could be a ritual candles like that yeah I invited my girls over to play cards tonight next next week and so I'm looking forward to that good that'll be fun going play cards we'll have some we got to move on okay moving on can you make your list I I'm making a list right now it's Candle no I want you to physically write it down oh okay and I want you to keep track and keep it in the back of your mind have you considered life coaching as a career no might need to be a little more gentle I'm I'm good with coaching my life you're coaching yourself yeah and helping the people in it yeah well that's the goal of the Pod Help the People I'll let the self-help people mhm oh my gosh I'm making a list candle tea that's what I got so far o Jim another problem with self-care is recognizing when you need it I feel like if you can get yourself into a regular rhythm of self-care then it's okay because we have habits for other things oh you know what would be so cute what if you and Dad both had self-care things together you're really pushing it I only have three things on the list okay well bu by me watching football I love to watch football you do love watching football oh yeah I'm writing that down that's definitely selfcare I love it you like eating but not making Grandma makes amazing food she does if she's cooking I will really eat it I will really really eat okay well never mind on that I guess okay well Graham's food but again I'm involving other people I can't make people Graham could you cook for us please yeah mom needs a selfcare day can you come cook I can't do that okay there are four golden rules of self-care so I'm going to ask you to talk about these so the first one is self-care is a lifestyle so it totally is I would totally agree with that tell us tell tell us everything a lot of the time I don't put myself first mhm so it is a good mix of taking care of other people the people I love the people that need tended to my business that I actually have work related such and suchh and then there's selfcare yeah so it's part of the deal yep okay talk about self-care is not static so it doesn't stay the same yeah so it changes a candle a tea and football that might not always be the thing yeah MH might mhm okay and as you're like actively thinking from now on of what makes you happy and what fulfills you it's just going to change over time with it being static it's not something that you can just do and then you can say oh I'm fine now right because it may not be fine it may not be fine just because you are doing your regular ritual so just try to stay in tune with how you're feeling 100% okay you have to recognize it recognition wait acknowledgement is half the battle okay half the battle all right this is the third one self-care sometimes involves elimination so when I hear that I'm thinking cancelling plans C well I don't like that mindsets change all the time way too often we're going to have to okay so so you think that can caning your plans may be a part of self-care do you feel like that's on a regular basis though you should be canceling people on a canceling people canceling plans on a regular basis no no of course not because then you become unreliable right you're not keeping your commitment but I also think that there should be an understanding mhm of why that elimination is happening mhm so that's a problem for a lot of people because they don't feel comfortable enough to say no this is pushing my boundary and I just can't do it today sorry but I will say it's completely different for work of course of course it's different professionally MH right I shouldn't even have to say that right well what I was thinking when it says self-care sometimes involves elimination is sometimes there are things that I'm doing that are actually draining the life out of me and then I actually don't need to do that's cuz it's all your head that you need to do it right so I could just eliminate or I could delegate possibly you can talk with yourself on why you think it's necessary and then make a decision after you evaluate it takes a lot of mental energy and deconstruction of your own mind and really taking apart your own freaking brain and seeing what's in there and why it's in there right okay so the last one is don't compare your your selfcare yes so this is another thing for how much time it takes because some people they can go a million miles an hour have one bath of the week and they're a sane person right yeah right but if they don't have that one bath of the week then they will go absolutely ballistic right so um it's just the one it may look different for one person might be just one little thing for one person it might be 10 things per week for another person yep just depends 100% it also depends on what it is because lighting a candle is great for me and you but it might not be great for somebody else mhm and it depends on if you even need it because how much time you're investing that matters it is not a bad thing to spend time on yourself and that is what is really hard for me even though I say I'm the queen of it it's really hard for me to balance draining versus fulfilling that's my struggle but everyone's struggle with self-care is different why do you think we don't take the time to recognize it because we want to please other people because we want to get what needs to be done MH to get it done right I'm really good at recognizing for myself if it's too much right because like when you're out of gas when I'm out of gas right I agree with that I think that you've always been really good at recognizing that I remember even when you were a little kid you're like I'm going to go to my room now just it's time for me to jaill yeah and you would just curl up with a book and that's my self-care Y and then you'd be all right gen you would be genuinely in the middle of a party and there would be people everywhere and Noise and all types of crazy and you just be I'm just going to go in my room now and you would go in your room and close the door and that would be that you just stay in there with your book mhm and you'd be fine yeah and that is a good thing for me because I personally have a lot of hobbies that I can indulge myself in right that make me feel fulfilled and happy including reading right you know what else is convenient is that a lot of your things that fill you up are also things you can do on your own reading painting drawing sewing it's all like you don't need any other people I feel like other people need other people to fill their bucket sometimes but I know you don't need to other people to fill your bucket no I just want to be by myself in the corner how do you feel about woodworking cuz how how much does it stress you out uh I like to do it because I like to create things I also like to restore things take something old and tattered that no one wants and turn it into something beautiful but does that drain you the end result fills me up but I want to see it completed pretty quickly if it's a very long project then I need to be able to see the shortterm pieces that add up to the long-term project and the thing about Woodworking and projects especially at home it's like you always run into a snag and that drains me because it's always like oh I don't have the right screws for this or oh I don't have the right piece of wood or oh this actually snapped in half so I have to go buy a new one when you're doing I don't know if it's like that for everybody but certainly for me when I'm in the middle of a project it's like something is going to go wrong I know exactly what you're talking about straining for easy but listen listen something this is something I'm learning too I used to run into that all the time for sewing with the actual machine those are just problems that I can't right fix but when and like when you're talking about you don't have the right supplies that's something that is out of your control right but I'm talking about taking the creative Liberties and even if something doesn't work out to just scrap it and try something else so there's been multiple times where my end product doesn't look like how I envisioned it because I had to take shortcuts basically right of I understand that yes exactly that happens to me and I only know this because I just was I was just drawing the other day for the first time in a really long time but I remember drwing and it didn't go the way that I want it to go and so then I just made something new which is all great and well when you're drawing but when you're working with wood it's expensive you can't just scrap the piece of wood it's not I'm not saying scrap the piece of wood I'm saying like if I use the fabric that I have you're saying build something I'm still going to use the fabric yeah it's not I'm not I don't maybe I'm just not skilled enough to be able to use the dang thing just chop off the broken part that's what I'm saying it's not that simple you can't just chop off a broken part everything has dimensions and I know but there's ways around it that you're not thinking of I think I'm just not skilled I think we hit the nail on the head there and see how I just did that pun it's very PNY I don't think I'm skilled enough to just be able to throw stuff together not with I'm not saying throw stuff together I'm saying do with what you got yeah and maybe I'm not that creative I don't know the mystery exists take your brain oh wow pull it apart you're yelling at me stretch it mhm see why throw it out it is the way it is that takes time yeah and we're not going to get it done in 30 podcast oh man too bad well is there anything else that you'd like to talk about before we go dear I feel like we're so much fun usually I'm trying to get you to dissect your brain not today well maybe I'll be more fun on the day I'm not trying to dissect your brain is that what you're saying probably interesting achieve your dreams and be happy yeah yeah right well maybe what we can do next is before we go rather maybe we can ask other people what they do for their selfcare yeah they can give us ideas exactly cuz I need ideas I can't even start thinking about what other people would do because I just love what I do so much I just need ideas I'm not an idea person I think yeah that's another yeah well I have three things on my list so far so we've made Headway just keep that list open next to a pen mhm open tab yes all right I'm going to have to find a new thing yep anyway all right well that is it for today thank you for listening thank you Paige for coming on the Pod today no prob thanks for listening in everyone and hey do you want to be a part of the show call or text also let us know what are you doing for your own self-care I need to have ideas so help me be better call or text 864 6191 1683 or you can share your story self-care tips tricks ideas whatever you want we will take them all and also calling all bosses would you share this episode with someone you think would like it our goal is to inspire and equip others but we cannot do it alone and listen friend we know it's not easy but remember that whatever it is you're walking through You are not alone and together we can make the world a better place to work thanks for listening team take care and see you next week bye in The Bu I got a in the bush I'm the going provide for me that's why 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